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2002-02-09 - 11:03 a.m.

CHS SmackDown!

February 05, 2002

Brought to you by:

Mama Murphy’s Pizza: Papa needs to rest for a few hours.

And by…LUCKY CHARMS MAN!!! (A small leprechaun is shown on the screen)

Tonight’s Matches, and a rundown of finishing moves…

Brett Tingey vs. Goldust

Goldust—Shattered Dreams; Brett—That Tingey-ly Feeling

Hardcore Title: Broc McCune vs. Grant Hoki

Broc—McSlam; Grant—Brainbuster Slam

Jason Lindberg and Nick Pokorney vs. Anthony Hollis and The Undertaker

Jason—Downward Spiral; Nick—That 80’s Show (it’s still, after all, MY idea); Anthony—Ankle Lock; Undertaker—Last Ride

The Dudley Boys vs. Krissy Summers and Betsy Adams

Bubba Ray Dudley—Bubba Bomb; D-Von Dudley—Top Rope Headbutt; Krissy—Moonsault; Betsy—Top Rope Superplex

Popularity Title: Laurie Pearman vs. Jacob Pena

Laurie—Reverse DDT; Jacob—Spinebuster

Shawn McKennan vs. Test

Shawn—Elbow Drop; Test—Big Boot

Tag Team Titles: Austin Steadman and JJ Emmons vs. Ryan Keogh and Kevin Davies

Austin—2nd Rope Powerbomb; JJ—Emmonator; Ryan—Figure 4 Lock; Kevin—Swinging DDT

So there’s a look at tonight’s matches. Let’s get started. I’m…coming out so you better get this party started…

Brett Tingey vs. Goldust

Brett got in the ring, as he was ready to fight Goldust. The lights got low in the arena for the elaborate and lengthy entrance of Goldust. Goldust got in the ring and Brett was ready, as he repeatedly punched Goldust, and then whipped him off the ropes. Brett connected on a spinebuster and got a pin for a 2 count. Goldust got up and grabbed Brett’s shoulder. He headbutted him a few times and the ref stopped him. Goldust pushed the ref and gave Brett a low blow. The ref didn’t see it, so Goldust got the Curtain Call, his secondary finishing move, from behind and got the pin to win the match.

Winner: Goldust

Up next, the Hardcore Title is back!!!

Hardcore Title: Broc McCune vs. Grant Hoki

Grant got in the ring to challenge Broc for a Hardcore Title match on SmackDown! Broc came down to the ring and slid under the waiting Grant. Grant turned around but got a neckbreaker from Broc. Broc kicked Grant over onto his stomach then applied a crab lock on Grant but Grant got to the ropes in time. Broc stomped on Grant and picked him up.

Grant elbowed Broc in the midsection and ran off the ropes, but Broc caught him in a sleeper hold! Grant got out of it eventually but a lot had been taken out of him. Broc ran off the ropes to go for a bulldog but Grant had run off a different set of ropes, and was able to get a clothesline on Broc! Grant got on the top rope and leg dropped Broc, then got a pin for a 2 count. The marching band suddenly started walking down the ramp and into the ring, and they marched over Grant! Holy frickin crap Broc just won this match! He got the pin on Grant after the band cleared, and we have a new champion!

Winner, and the NEW Hardcore Champion: Broc McCune

The Undertaker was backstage getting ready for a tag team match, next!

Michael Cole plugged the newest JLPSLT product, a new computer game for the geographically challenged: “Where in the World Is San Diego?”

Jason Lindberg and Nick Pokorney vs. Anthony Hollis and the Undertaker

Jason would fight Anthony to start the match off, as Anthony quickly took Jason down with a clothesline, then a German suplex. Anthony locked Jason in the STF Lock but Jason got to the ropes and the ref stopped the hold. Anthony elbow dropped Jason and tagged in the Undertaker.

Undertaker got in the ring and threw Jason out of it, as Anthony and Nick started to fight outside the ring! Nick threw Anthony into the ring post while the Undertaker left the ring to fight Jason. Undertaker gave Jason a military press slam into the security wall while Anthony and Nick beat the hell out of each other, back and forth, on the other side of the ring at ringside.

Undertaker threw Jason back into the ring and Nick threw Anthony into the ring at about that time. Nick speared the Undertaker and pinned him for a 2 count. Undertaker got up but Jason had recovered. Jason gave him a dropkick, and then Nick DDT’d him. Anthony ran off the ropes and gave Nick a bulldog. Jason went for a clothesline on Anthony but missed, and Anthony planted him with a DDT of his own!

Kane ran down to the ring and beat the hell out of Anthony. Nick went over to pin the Undertaker but he still kicked out! Jason got on the top rope and came off with an axe handle drop on Anthony, then pinned him to win the match!

Winners: Jason Lindberg and Nick Pokorney

After the commercial break, Kane, Nick, and Jason talked about the last match, and Kane brought up a major problem he and Jason had been having: The Dudley Boys.

The Dudley Boys vs. Krissy Summers and Betsy Adams

The Dudleys came out to the ring with a table and Stacy Keibler. Nick said he had an idea as he and Jason and Kane watched the match on TV backstage.

The cameras refocused on the match at hand, as Krissy and Betsy ran down to the ring and started fighting the Dudley Boys! Outside the ring, Stacy set up a table as Krissy did a cartwheel to get around Bubba Ray Dudley. D-Von and Betsy punched each other back and forth near the corner. Bubba gave Krissy a suplex and a pin for a 2 count. Betsy knocked D-Von down with a European uppercut and leg dropped him as well. Bubba Ray ran at her but she got out of the way, then connected on a leg sweep to knock him down. Stacy got up on the apron and yelled at the ref, but Krissy got up and elbowed her off the apron and through the table!

D-Von and Bubba Ray ran at Betsy at the same time and went for a double clothesline and they got it! Nick, Kane, and Jason stormed down to the ring and as the Dudleys set Krissy up for the 3D, Kane planted D-Von with a reverse DDT and Jason and Nick converted on the Double That 80’s Show on Bubba! Krissy scored the pin on D-Von to win the match.

Winners: Betsy Adams and Krissy Summers

Jason put a new table in the ring and Krissy set it up. Betsy whipped D-Von off the ropes and gave him a spinebuster through the table!

(After the Commercial Break) Mr. Culbertson came out and got a microphone. He announced that he wasn’t going to stand around and listen to this crap about not having a CHS Champion. He just wouldn’t stand there and take it. Conveniently enough, there was a small banana there and he tripped over it. The audience laughed and Mr. Culbertson said it wasn’t funny.

Everyone threw bananas at Mr. Culbertson and by the time they were done, he had approximately 77 Chiquita Banana stickers and 34.6 Dole stickers on his head and arms. Mr. Culbertson said that if people would just listen to him for a second, there would be a tournament next week to determine who gets to win the CHS Title! The tournament’s first round would take up all of next week’s show. The second and third rounds will take place on February 19. People threw apples and pears so Mr. Culbertson left.

Popularity Title: Jacob Pena vs. Laurie Pearman

Jacob came down to the ring as a 3-time Champion, ready to do battle with Laurie Pearman. Laurie came down to the ring through the audience, Price-is-Right style (WATCH PRICE IS RIGHT FEBRUARY 7!!!) and got in the ring. Laurie headbutted Jacob and gave him a jawbreaker. Jacob got up and Laurie just knocked him down again with a dropkick.

Jacob figured that he couldn’t keep up with that quick pace, so he decided to take one big shot at her and he did by grabbing her and getting a powerbomb on her! Jacob went for his finishing move, the spinebuster, but Laurie countered it to go for her finisher, the reverse DDT, but Jacob countered that with a suplex. Laurie got up and Jacob gave her another one and a pin for a 2 count.

Ali Jakubowski showed up at ringside and distracted the referee, so Laurie gave Jacob a low blow. The ref’s attention came back into the ring, where Laurie connected on the Reverse DDT and scored the pin to win the title!

Winner, and the NEW Popularity Champion: Laurie Pearman

Test flexed his muscles in the mirror, and the egomaniac will face Shawn McKennan, next!

Shawn McKennan vs. Test

Test’s music hit the arena and the fans booed him as he came out flexing his muscles still. He even kissed his muscle, which made Michael Cole and me want to go hurl. Shawn came down to the ring and went around the side, but Test wasn’t fooled. He grabbed Shawn’s dreadlocks and pulled him up into the ring. Test punched Shawn repeatedly on the mat but the ref made him stop. Test pushed the ref, who pushed right back! Test scared him off, then ran at him, and gave him the Big Boot!

Shawn showed up from behind with a steel chair and he slammed it into the back of Test! Test fell over and Shawn beat the crap out of him with it. A new referee came down to the ring so Shawn quickly got rid of the steel chair. He connected on an Elbow Drop on Test and pinned him to win the match.

Winner: Shawn McKennan

Now for the main event…

Tag Team Titles: JJ Emmons and Austin Steadman vs. Kevin Davies and Ryan Keogh

JJ and Kevin would start the match, as JJ whipped Kevin off the ropes and kicked him right in the face. JJ gave Kevin a neckbreaker and tagged Austin into the ring. Austin elbowed Kevin in the stomach a few times and suplexed him down to the mat. Austin threw him off the ropes but Kevin came back with a clothesline. Kevin whipped Austin off the ropes and gave him a powerslam and a pin for a 2 count. He went over and staged Ryan into the ring.

Ryan got in the ring and went after Austin but Austin countered with an arm drag, then a hip toss. Austin was wrestling Olympic-style, and winning at it too. Ryan got up and got the dreaded Titty Twister on Austin! Austin clutched his chest in pain, then Kevin got on the top rope and came off with a lariat!

JJ got in the ring and ran after Ryan. He gave him a swinging neckbreaker and got a pin for a 2 count. Kevin kicked JJ out of the ring. Austin got up and speared Ryan right out of the ring! Kevin ran up to Austin and gave him something similar to Test’s Big Boot! Austin, JJ, and Ryan were all down, and Kevin went for the pin but still, Austin kicked out!

Austin got up and Kevin whipped him off the ropes, but Austin countered it into a powerbomb, and then locked him in the Boston Crab Lock and Kevin tapped out!

Winners by submission and still the Tag Team Champions: Austin and JJ

--JRL, 2/6/02--



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