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2002-04-02 - 10:08 p.m.

well I wrote this all out and everything and when I went to save it my computer decided to crash. so here i go agian.

the origanal was my life story it was long. but I lost it.

I told my self when I sat down to do this I need to write a long entry but every time I do that something goes wrong so I think i have given up!

I have been through the worst Ive lived in a 14 foot camp trailer with five people. I did drugs and smoked and had sex all at the early age of 12/13. I had been there done that and have a scare to prove it. I never went to sixth grade I was put into 7th a year behind every one else and since then I have been in a downward spiral. I dont tell this diary every thing. and other I am vague about. I hate fucking typing! I dont really like my life I dont see why I am here I have nothing to other to anyone and my life is the shitter. it so fucking sucks. I am ugly. girls or guys for that matter do not like me. my friends are ok but other than that im a fucking looser. I have bad cradit im in debt 2000 dollars. and my parents have forever distrusted me. and i fucking itch all over. Ive tried to commit suicide. I never was happy I am not happy and I dont think I ever will be. It has been a while since I wrote a long entry. I dont know what to say I dont know how to say it and for the most I dont know what the fuck I am doing. I dont know how to write. I dont know words. I suck I am no good at anything. drama was a bust I sucked at that. I had no talent every one said I did but I never found it. If they saw it they locked it back up when they where done with it. I dont even know why I have this damn thing.

Why the fuck is it so hard to find a damn job. It fucking sucks I can not find one for the life of me. I dont know what I want to do with my life. I think if I had a choice I would curl up in a closet like a often do but this time I would die. I have nothing to fucking offer. some time hell all the time I cry and cry. want to know why. because I am human and there is nothing I can do to change that.

oh well I am going to go take a shower I feel dirty. good bye



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