2003-09-07 - 3:16 p.m.
Vanessa VonMontague is a living success story. Only nine months ago she signed up for our exciting online dating service, created a personal, and was off in a corvette with some handsome bachelor. Today she's walking down the aisle.
Creating a personal profile takes just a couple minutes, and it's super duper easy!
"I simply filled out some information, selected a picture of the supermodel that most resembles me from the drop-down box, and hit submit!"
"I was surprised to see Vanessa," said her suitor. "Horrible shame about that car accident, though."
"We really couldn't be happier together," bubbled Vanessa. "I just told him these deformities were the result of the crash that ruined my modeling career. My loveable, gullible Toddy-woddy."
"My family is supportive of Vanessa and me," said Todd. "Sure, they've brought up the fact that Vanessa, well, has three arms... but, I just told them how much she means to me."
"I think Todd has gone bananas," said best-friend Mike Possum. "Totally bananas for that girl. Wow, Vanessa is something else. Excuse me? Yeah, sure, she has three arms and a twelve-foot spike embedded in her forehead... so what!? Todd is a real lucky guy."
"We're so happy for Vanessa," said Vanessa's mother. "That Todd ain't much of a looker, but if he doesn't mind holding Vanessa's third hand, the more power to him!"
The bride and groom will be kissing any moment now, beginning a new life together. Won't you too try our exciting service?