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2002-03-29 - 7:39 p.m. well I'm not going to give you some run around. I wrote this big ass entry but my computer decided I didnt need it. so here goes with the not so sweet version. What is life living for? I have asked a couple girls to prom but they all said no. I like to be talk to I like to hang out but I seem to have no freinds. alot of people want me back at school but none of them ever want to do something with me. I dont see the point of being here. I could pack up move back east with my uncle and I could maybe be happy or not seeing how I have asthma and that could get bad. I started writing a song but I given up for I draw a blank. jerry if you are reading this by all means use what I have. As I look out the window I see alot of people, people like me. there longing for people, people like me. so back to the story...I cry my self to sleep every night I am no longer writing my poetry it is to depressing. I wish to share but with who? I dont know whos reading this and I dont know how its going to be taken.....oh what the hell do I care I havent cared before. I am seeing no point in living on my sespension form it says I was going to bring a gun to school. I have a gun and I went to a school. so why not mix them? because I know that they feer me with out me having to prove it. coward before me as I hold your fate in my hands. bow down and beg for mercy as I threaten to kill you. You feer me and yet you dont know why. I know why because I am not affriad to die. You are affriad of what is diffrent. I live off your feer. so beware of me for I have played with fate. I am not what you feer but what you loath. well that was a spirt of freeverse. I want to die so here I go off to go kill myself....god bless red meat. I want to disapear I dont want to be me I want to be another. I dont know were to go from here so I am going to go eat my red meat. I am truly depressed. good bye.
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